Sorry boyfriend, I want to be single again

Couplehood is romantic dinners, walks in the rain, whispered sweet nothings, and oh yes, regular bedside marathons. No one seems to remember the petty quarrels, silent wars, morning breath and restricted freedom. While single women see couplehood as blissful seventh heaven, Purplelips extols the virtues of singlehood. And yes, it too spells B-L-I-S-S.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- By Tanny Chia

[eastciti.com, december 08]
At 6, couplehood was matchmaking Malibu Barbie with Malibu Ken. At 12, it was learning to skateboard from the teenage boy next door. At 18, it was shedding tears into fistfuls of Kleenex over your first break up. By 26, couplehood has evolved into a must-have accessory without which a modern woman is not complete.

Or at least my single friends have been telling me.

I haven't been single in quite a while and so am eminently not eligible to comment on the trials of singlehood. But I'm going to do it nonetheless. Because the truth is, I just don't get this seemingly universal need to be half of a couple. And with the media piling the pressure on young Singaporeans to hitch up and lay eggs, it's high time someone stuck a neck out to defend this wonderful and absolutely necessary period of life, the swinging singles.

Just what is it about singlehood that drives some single women to gaze at every remotely eligible male as a potential other half? Or make them sigh audibly with envy every time one of their more "fortunate" attached friends announce that she's got a dinner date with her boy?

It's definitely not the pressing need to silence our raging libido with a regular bedfellow. After all, women, unlike men, do not reach the peak of sexual lasciviousness until our early 30s, when the weight of single status could perhaps be that much harder to bear.

And just how bad can having the entire weekend free to yourself be? With all the juggling between work, friends, family and boyfriend, I 'd kill for time to soak in the bath all by myself, a good book in hand and heavenly bossanova blasting away in the background. As it is, I scarcely have the time to even read a book.

Ok, I admit. It can get pretty lonely at Christmas and Valentine's Day, when the world seems filled with happy couples strolling hand-in-hand along Orchard Road.

In some dusty corners of my memory, I remember feeling utterly miserable one Valentine's Day holding onto the only rose I'd received - 1 given by a sympathetic girlfriend - and watching gloating schoolmates hug obscene bouquets given by their pimply boyfriends. But that was then. Now I know that outside of adolescence, such occasions mean nothing other than a poor excuse to spend more money. And if it's any consolation, I still don't receive roses on Valentine's.

But really, singlehood is much too precious to give up for the annual bouquet of roses. I don't understand why single women somehow don't think so, and it makes me want to shake them hard.

Just the other day, a very attractive single friend of mine was bemoaning her single status over dinner. She has legions of eligible men beating a path to her doorstep and enjoys the good fortune of being wined and dined every weekend at fancy establishments about town. Her problem? None of her suitors is Mr Right. "Single life is so complicated," she sighed, shaking her head. Then she told me, "You're so lucky to have a boyfriend."

I still haven't decided if she really does envy me, or was just bragging.

It is this absolute liberty to do what you want that I sorely miss as part of a couple. I miss the thrill of dating different interesting men every weekend with no strings attached. I want to have the freedom of taking off on a whim on a half-year adventure in South America without having to worry about someone. I want to party and hang out Saturday nights with the girls sometimes. I want to chill out at home on Sundays with myself for company.

With all due respect to my boyfriend, being truly loved is a something that should not be given up for the world. And who knows, I may not feel so optimistic about singlehood if I were not comfortably ensconced in a relationship now. But if you happen to be one of those lucky swinging singles, take heart during your lonely nights. Someone here is envying you.

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