Sex Appeal - Do You Have It?

The legendary Marilyn Monroe was considered sexy, but few men (with the exception of one late and very rich tycoon) would find equally well-endowed Anna-Nicole Smith's in-your-face assets appealing. On the other hand, stick-like Claudia Schiffer and her posse of equally undernourished supermodel friends have been, for a decade, the epitome of sexy for the pop generation. Just what is this elusive sex appeal that almost every woman craves? Purplelips digs into the psyches of some modern males to find out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------- By Tanny Chia

[eastciti.com, november 11]
"Whether it's warm intensity or cool composure, intelligence, power or personal style, there is an endless array of attributes that contribute to sex appeal." The editor in chief of US magazine Modern Maturity, Hugh Delehanty, once commented on what sex appeal is. No mention of overflowing bosoms, bared flesh or incredible curves.

And surprisingly, a casual poll among some thinking males seems to affirm Delehanty's opinions. While most women fall over themselves in a bid to deck out in the most revealing spaghetti tops and shortest skirts, men are looking at some very unexpected places. Sure, there's no denying that revealing some flesh helps catch their eyes (after all, men waste no time in reminding us that nature made them such that their groin rule), but sex appeal really is much more complex than the mere flesh show, and very subjective.

We assembled a panel of 7 male professionals to find out what turns them hot under the collar. In no particular order, they are Kevin (25), Mark (26), Dave (26), Vince (27), YK (24), Oliver (28) and Lawrence (27). (Names have been changed to safeguard the guys' reputations). .

"The way she carries herself." Kevin offers. "Her behaviour," Oliver says without missing a beat. "An ability to carry herself." Dave adds. Ok, behaviour, we get the idea. But is sexy behaviour necessarily saucy or flirtatious? Not so, it seems.

Behaviour

"Charisma and confidence are definite turn-ons, not slutty behaviour." Lawrence emphasizes. Kevin agrees. "A little bit of flirting, but she needs to be quietly confident of herself." "She has to be able to hold a conversation without being coy or cocky," Vince elaborates. "Behaviour that puts you at ease, not (make you) awkward." Oliver offers more insight, "Sexiness has to be the ability to bring out her femininity through her actions and dressing - basically knowing the right buttons to push, at the right times." To Mark, sexiness is "someone who can hold my interest in more ways than one, through her intelligence, social skills, sensitivity and the way she carries herself."

Now that we've got the personality thing down pat, how about more superficial factors, like dressing for instance. Women are familiar with having their boyfriends' eyes eagerly follow any sliver of bare skin, so don't tell us that dressing does not matter. To their credit, the guys do not pretend to be above skin-deep sexiness.

Dressing

Oliver half-jokes, "The lesser, the better to tantalise. Lace looks good…." And we thought lace was a relic from our mother's generation. Fortunately for us who do not share his lace fetish, his view was the exception. While YK offers his preference for "skimpy bikinis and tight jeans", Dave prefers "minimalistic dressing", meaning simple outfits, not lesser fabrics. Nothing too fanciful for him, thank you. Vince is more insistent on covering up unnecessary skin, "No flesh please!" he beseeches. Instead, "a little tease and a touch of class that suits the occasion" turn him on. Indeed, it does seem that sexy was more covering-up than exposing all. Like what Mark says, "(she should) possess the discretion to dress appropriately for different events and not always be seen in spaghetti straps, off-shoulder tops and ultra minis."

Ok, behaviour and dressing doth maketh the sexy woman. But surely, natural born assets like big boobs and Jennifer Lopez's butts help too, no?

Looks

Mark is very honest about the need for physical attractiveness. "It figures to have the right places filled out and the right ones sucked in," he blatantly opines, and "long, smooth flowing hair, non-dyed and natural, pursed lips and smooth complexion, almost without blemish." Kevin's standards are similarly high and his eyes mists over as he paints his perfect sex symbol: "Full pouty lips, smouldering eyes, tall with a bit of flesh." Before we wring our hands and despair for want of such perfection, Oliver and Vince are thankfully modest about their expectations. A "come-hither look and proportionate figure" are enough for Oliver, while "pleasant looks" are all Vince wants. And if you are "pleasing to the eye" and does not possess a pair of "billiard table legs (read: fat legs) and a "lang-ga (Malay for banged up) face", Dave will be swooning over you. Thank you, guys!

Sexy = Attraction?

In case you are one of those very fortunate women blessed with a charming personality, sultry looks and an immaculate dress sense (in which case you're also one of those I'll love to personally witness ageing into old wrinkled women), don't clap your perfect hands and jump for joy just yet. You may fit the men's idea of sexiness personified, but they may not necessarily find you attractive. Huh, do we have a misnomer here?

While Dave and Oliver both confess that sexiness does equate attraction, the rest on the panel are more subjective. "Sexiness is just one aspect of attraction," Lawrence explains, "It's not even an important criteria - how many really sexy women are out thee anyway." Similarly, Vince stresses that he doesn't necessarily look for sexiness in his girlfriend. "It's more important that we connect." Mark, on the other hand, has thought the whole sexy issue through. "Attraction can be just a brush with someone gorgeous who would call for a second glance. It could also mean that you become more persistent and go out of your way to get in touch with the person. So sexiness does attract, but to varying degrees."

Before you scratch your head and double take for a second read, Mark continues. "(I don't look for sexiness in my girlfriend) because that's impossible. These are just dreamt up and implanted into man by the media and society. There isn't any lady who'd fit the bill and even if they did, their heads would be too big (and most likely hollow) to have them behave normal and down-to-earth. They'd think they're God's ultimate gift to man."

And we thought man had not realised that yet.

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